Sexual culture and wellbeing expert Alix Fox answered your questions about how to have a healthier, happier, hornier love life Greygoose77 asks: Can electronic sex toys cause desensitisation? Alix: Short answer: nope. But they can temporarily alter the threshold of stimulatory intensity that you require in order to get off. That has been covered more fully here. Alix: Mate, I hear you. And I suspect you’re going to sigh with all the power of a wind tunnel when I tell you that unless you prioritise intimacy, it isn’t going to happen. You have to block in time for it – which will likely mean booting something else out of your diary. That can seem hard at first, when EVERYTHING feels important if not essential. But what’s harder is mourning a dwindling love life. Plus, having a sexy, silly, scrumptious time with a lover can be like a triple espresso when it comes to putting a pep in your step and soothing everyday stress. It may sound trite, but when intimacy functions as a therapeutic release, ‘doing it’ can actually help you get other things done. To be clear, I’m talking about scheduling intimacy, not necessarily intercourse. Nobody should feel duty bound to engage in any particular physical act when the allotted date rolls round. You may find it helpful (and a welcome turn on) to write a ‘menu’ of different erotic ‘dishes’ you might like to choose from during a date night, ranging from more delicate flavours like having your hair washed for you or a bubble bath for two, to spicier exploits like taking turns to read from an explicit book. Dr Sara Nasserzadeh, author of Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, says “scheduled sexy time should feel like a restaurant reservation: sometimes you’ll fancy a lighter meal; other times, a richer dish. You may both pick different courses, or feel drawn to the same plate. The only criteria is that everyone comes away satisfied – which doesn’t always require orgasm, by the way.” Continue reading...
‘How do we make time for intimacy?’: sex expert Alix Fox answered your questions
Sexual culture and wellbeing expert Alix Fox answered your questions about how to have a healthier, happier, hornier love life Greygoose77 asks: Can electronic sex toys cause desensitisation? Alix: Short answer: nope. But they can temporarily alter the threshold of stimulatory intensity that you require in order to get off. That has been covered more fully here. Alix: Mate, I hear you. And I suspect you’re going to sigh with all the power of a wind tunnel when I tell you that unless you prioritise intimacy, it isn’t going to happen. You have to block in time for it – which will likely mean booting something else out of your diary. That can seem hard at first, when EVERYTHING feels important if not essential. But what’s harder is mourning a dwindling love life. Plus, having a sexy, silly, scrumptious time with a lover can be like a triple espresso when it comes to putting a pep in your step and soothing everyday stress. It may sound trite, but when intimacy functions as a therapeutic release, ‘doing it’ can actually help you get other things done. To be clear, I’m talking about scheduling intimacy, not necessarily intercourse. Nobody should feel duty bound to engage in any particular physical act when the allotted date rolls round. You may find it helpful (and a welcome turn on) to write a ‘menu’ of different erotic ‘dishes’ you might like to choose from during a date night, ranging from more delicate flavours like having your hair washed for you or a bubble bath for two, to spicier exploits like taking turns to read from an explicit book. Dr Sara Nasserzadeh, author of Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, says “scheduled sexy time should feel like a restaurant reservation: sometimes you’ll fancy a lighter meal; other times, a richer dish. You may both pick different courses, or feel drawn to the same plate. The only criteria is that everyone comes away satisfied – which doesn’t always require orgasm, by the way.” Continue reading...